


Mithril (shattered heart and blinding tears)

by asthiathien



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bilbo POV, Canonical Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, I Made Myself Cry, I apologize in advance for your feels, I'm not actually sure I can write non-angsty Bagginshield, M/M, Spoilers for Battle of Five Armies, Thorin Feels, seriously these two, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3140153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asthiathien/pseuds/asthiathien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo Baggins, after the Battle of the Five Armies, trying to piece himself back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mithril (shattered heart and blinding tears)

The hug, and the whispers. Those are what linger, what haunt his mind even after everything else begins to fade and disappear like ashes in the wind.

He still remembers, right down to the end.

* * *

He remembers screaming and sobbing after Thorin died. He remembers feeling every one of Thorin's last breaths like a dagger to his own heart, as Thorin choked on the blood in his lungs and died within moments of their salvation.

He remembers being utterly inconsolable afterwards, how he remained silent and still in his sickbed for days after the battle, and whenever he fell into slumber Thorin's brilliant eyes glazed over in death would haunt his nightmares until he woke screaming from the agony of it.

He stayed for the funeral, dressed in the finery it was learned Thorin had bequeathed to him at some point during the gold sickness, even though he knew for a fact that these clothes had not been discovered before he forsook the Company to honor Thorin's oath for him.

And the thought of Thorin wandering the halls of Erebor alone , believing he had been betrayed by his beloved forced the hobbit to flee for someplace private where he could sob out his broken heart.

He stayed for the funeral, stayed and watched Thorin be entombed in the halls of his forefathers, attired in glittering mithril armour so ancient he knew it could only have been brought with the refugees from Khazad-dûm. He watched as the magic that would keep Thorin's mortal body from decaying was placed upon his tomb and watched as the Company paid their last respects, slipping the Arkenstone into a gauntleted hand.

It had been his idea for Thranduil and his son, Legolas, to pay their own respects that night to the dwarrow who had died upon the battlefield, and he had not been above using his status and new fame to get exactly what he wanted.

Legolas had given a magnificent elven bow to Kili, Prince of Durin's Line, and Thranduil-King himself had laid Orcrist upon Thorin's breast, folding the king's hands around the hilt so that no other would ever bear that blade into battle again.

And when the others had left, he had remained, gently stroking one pale cheek as he looked upon the body of his beloved, now attired beautifully in the funeral garb of dwarrow kings.

"Goodbye, Thorin Oakenshield," he whispered softly in Thorin's ear. "I will miss you, more than you can imagine."

And then he pressed a kiss to Thorin's forehead, directly beneath the golden crown that rested upon his brow.

* * *

With time, the nightmares of battle and death faded, but Thorin remained a constant presence in his dreams, sometimes blazing with a light of majesty beyond anything he had ever witnessed as the King Under The Mountain faced down opponents too many to number, and other times he would face his burglar directly, more than once appearing with the bright flame of a dwarrow king, but just as often appearing in the simple traveling clothes of the Quest, smiling with a gentle light as he reached out towards him, but he would always awaken just before Thorin's hand met his.

* * *

And as the years passed and his mind became ever more prone to confusion and befuddlement, Thorin began to appear in his waking hours as well, eyes bright with love and gentle affection as he walked with him through the twisting roads of the Shire and, later, the graceful paths of Rivendell.

He never spoke, in this moments, simply looking at him with eyes that said more than words ever could have and watching him as if he were the most beautiful treasure in all of Middle-earth.

Sometimes, Thorin was willing to sit beside the hobbit and listen to all of his nattering without ever growing bored of watching him talk ideas out loud, and a few times he would sit beside him and watch over the elderly hobbit as he succumbed to slumber.

* * *

A war was fought over his Ring, and even when Rivendell itself fell under siege Thorin was always there, ready to lead him away from the orcs and motivate him to keep ahead to the enemy, and once or twice, even to defend himself when the dark creatures grew too numerous for the elves to handle.

But then the war was over, and he searched but Thorin had disappeared as if he had never been.

* * *

The hour was late, and the hobbit in his bed in the Undying Lands had sent his little Frodo away with Gandalf so that he would not have to bear the sorrow of watching his dearest uncle slide away into death.

"I've missed you so much, beloved," he whispered as he looked at the small image of Thorin he had drawn into his book. "I would have given anything to have you live, that day upon Ravenhill - " and then he began crying, the deep shaking sobs he had not felt since the months after the battle.

"Bilbo," Thorin murmured softly to him, and Bilbo looked up to see Thorin standing across from him, light shining gently behind him as he stood with hand outstretched to his beloved hobbit burglar. "I have missed you so much, my dearest hobbit." And then he smiled, gentle but fierce and strong, so much that it hurt Bilbo to see as the members of the Company appeared steadily behind Thorin, until the entirety of their companions stood before Bilbo, all of them smiling and welcoming.

"Well, beloved," Thorin said with his smile affixed to his lips as if there had never been a day where he had been without it, "are you ready for another adventure?"

"For the chance to be with you?" Bilbo said as he climbed to his feet and took Thorin's hand, his dwarf king drawing him close. "Always."


End file.
